Pimp my knight rider

I think I've just read the best thing ever. I'm sure you're thinking the same thing that Napoleon Dynamite's brother expressed in the film: "like anyone can even know that," but I implore you fine, fine readers to judge the for yourself (from The Sun):

Ice-T is to produce David Hasselhoff's first hip-hop album.
The rapper is said to be convinced that the 51-year-old for Knight Rider and Baywatch actor can take on the biggest names in rap, reports The Sun.
Ice-T added: "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour."

Hassle The Hoff. Holy shit.

I've gone ahead and done him the favor of writing a few lyrics he can drop and get jiggy with on the mic:

My name's Hassle the Hoff and I am the man

I've got a mini-fro and an orange tan

I used to drive Kitt through the Hollywood Hills

trackin' down crimes, makin' them bills

Knight Rider got cut, straight outta luck

so i drove to auditions in a beat-up truck

But Lifetime movies just weren't for me

I had to get out and P-I-M-P

Dropped science on a record known from here to Cologne

now the German bitches won't leave me alone

Yeah, I got hoes from here to the beach

Pamela's silicone within my reach

Got too many hoes and not enough time

to some young ladies I have to decline

"Hassle the Hoff we think you're fly

you're such a great singer can we get in your ride?"

I said dear ladies, Kitt ain't free

if you want a quick ride call Tommy Lee

Uh-huh-huh-huh.