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NEW YORK- Citing Homeland Security's decision today to refuse singer Yusef Islam entrance to the United States on the grounds that he could potentially be tied to terrorism organizations, Homeland Security spokesperson Brian Doyle announced that other musical artists would also be denied admission to the U.S. due to their "crappy, half-assed musical endeavors."

Islam, a legendary folk singer formerly known as Cat Stephens, was denied entry to the United States after security officials found that he was on a terrorism watch list for allegedly donating money to a terrorist organization.

Doyle said that the Islam case, and Islam's entire recording history, convinced Homeland Security that other musical artists such as Sting, Christina Aguilera and Norah Jones should also be considered risks to the safety of the American people, and therefore should also be banned from entering the United States.

"When you have artists completely lacking in musical talent and creativity," said Doyle "it becomes a risk to the well-being of the entire population. Train's big hit 'Drops of Jupiter' has entered my head uninvited and terrorized me on many occasions, and artists such as these pose a high-risk threat to radios and walkmans throughout the country."

Doyle replied that the 300 page document had not yet been published, but added that among those on the top of the list are saxophone player Kenny G and ballad murderer Michael Bolton.

When asked what Americans could do to fight this newly announced form of terror, Doyle cited Vice President Dick Cheney's suggestion that Americans buy duct tape and immediately "cover their ears."